Most of us use a combination of reactive and proactive words in our conversation every day.
If we are not careful, our speech tends towards more reactive rather than proactive.
What are some examples of reactive and proactive speech pattern?
Let us take a look at the reactive words and sentences.
1. It is not my fault.
2. I am not smart.
3. If only I have a rich father, I would be happy and rich.
4. If only I win the mega jackpot, I would go for a world tour.
5. They will not allow it.
6. I have no time.
7. She makes my life miserable.
8. This isnot my problem. I am not going to get involved.
All these are examples of reactive speech pattern. If you always think negatively, and convince yourself that everything is not your fault, everything is not under your control, you are not going to lead a satisfying life.
When you recognize your speech pattern as reactive, that is the first step towards improvement.
You need to make conscious efforts to use the proactive speech pattern. That requires a change of mindset from cannot to can.
Let us take a look at how proactive words can help you.
1. What can I do to rectify the problem?
(This is better than saying it is not your fault. When you take action to rectify the problem, that does not mean you are at fault in the first place. It just mean you stop playing the blame game, and get something done).
2. I can do many things. I can make use of my strengths to overcome my limitation.
(This is better than saying that you are not smart, as if a lack of intelligence is an excuse for poor work performance or poor personal finance management).
3. My happiness does not dependence on material wealth. I can get rich even if I do not have a rich father.
4. I can plan and budget for the world tour.
(Not having money for your dream is not an excuse. You just have to work harder, and plan for it).
5. How can I reason with them so that they allow it?
(Many bosses are very reasonablepersons. They will allow you to experiment if you can convince them of the merits).
6. How can I improve on my time management, so that I have the time for it?
(Everyone has the same quantity of time in a day. Nobody should say the lack of time is the reason for not doing what is needed.)
7. How can I improve the relationship?
(When you say she makes your life miserable, that is an indication of a bad relationship. She may be your new boss. She may be your demanding spouse. Whoever she is, you need to see things from her perspective, and learn to communicate your perspective).
8. How can I help?
(Even if it is not your problem, you can see if you can help to resolve the problem. If not, see if you can find someone to help).
You can see how taking a proactive approach is better than a reactive approach from the examples above.
Having say that, there are instances where reactive and proactive approaches are needed.
You just have to take note of your thinking pattern, and speech pattern, so that you do not let your negative thinking limits the realization of your full potential.
Scheng1 is a passionate blogger from Singapore. Rich in every sense reveals my deep desire in enjoying life, and be rich in every possible ways. Personal Finance is about money, from making money to investing money. Retirement in Asia contains resources on retirement planning.